It was whilst I was being mugged by Dangerous Dave for the last of my porridge that I found myself extolling the virtues of bean juice over cow juice to him.  It occurred to me then, that I should probably consider applying for Christmas retail positions and soon!  As far as Dave was concerned, having managed to get his whiskery chops into my bowl, the porridge lacked a certain something i.e. milk, soya just didn’t do it for him.  D.D. stalked off in a huff followed by my entreaties to give it another chance.  “Yes,” I thought to myself, “it really was time to return to the world two-legged work!”

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