It has been a long-established fact that Mehmet, The Magnificent, head of the Freathy Feline Five, spends his nights (and most of his days) on my Client’s double bed in their spare room.  To be precise, he sleeps on the left hand pillow as you face the bed.  Not only is Mehmet magnificent and marvellous but he is also monumental, his black and white bulk covering most of the pillow-slip.

I never gave my sleeping arrangements a thought until MJP, my significant other, stayed-over one evening.  Mehmet had, as usual, taken up residence in the spare room sometime after breakfast. He eyed us with suspicion as we yawned theatrically readying ourselves for bed.

“You can’t stay there all night!’ MJP told the recalcitrant cat.  Mehmet scowled defiantly back, that he could.  “I’m going to put you in the lounge.” My significant other said, stooping to pick-up the recumbent feline.  A terrible, low guttural growl stopped him mid bend.  “Maybe you’d better put him out!”  My beloved suggested to me. I offered to sleep on Mehmet’s side, having explained to MJP that shutting the cat out would result in hours of yowling and door scratching until we capitulated and let him back in. Turning down my offer, MJP slipped cautiously under the duvet and lay his head on what was left of the pillow.  “I think it’s going to be a long night!” He muttered switching off the bedside light.

Being unencumbered by cats, I quickly fell asleep but was woken in the small hours by MJP’s cry of disgust,

“The five stone cat hat is licking my scalp!”  Oh, how we laughed.