Christmas Day will soon be upon us and this year I am really looking forward to it because we’ll be letting the professionals to do all the hard work!

The 25th of December became known as Turkey-Turn-Around Day to our family when what should have been Christmas lunch became Christmas dinner. The fowl, being far too big for our oven which looks deceptively capacious until you try to put anything bigger than a medium-sized chicken in it, took an age to roast. So our festive offering had to be removed every thirty minutes and its tin rotated allowing it to cook evenly! My Sister, who was doing the honors that year, asked for my help with the oven door, which sticks, so she could man-handle the bird. Turning the turkey turned into doing `the turkey-turn-around’ dance because we’d booth had one too many dark and stormys and it seemed like a good idea at the time. The dance involved us doing a half crouching turn whilst flapping our bent arms like wings, not a pretty sight but hugely amusing to us.

Last year we plumped for a goose after watching Jamie Oliver cook one to perfection on television, in a much bigger oven I soon realized! Unfortunately, by the time we’d organised ourselves the only two geese left in the supermarket were gigantic and enormous which resulted in the smaller of the birds being brought home to be contorted into a yogic sort of pose before it would fit in our tiny oven.

As we sat late into the evening becoming more inebriated with our tummies growling like angry bears and muttering darkly about Jamie Oliver’s large appliances, Mother mentioned buying a turkey crown for next year and was immediately pelted with cheesy footballs from all directions. So it came to pass that none of us could face another Yule of underdone meat and overdone sprouts and agreed that we would book a table for next year at the first available restaurant that would have us! Of course Christmas will always be known to us as Turkey-Turn-Around Day!